Hope or ‘Expectation Well Trained’!

For what had seemed like a hundred years, I waited with baited breath,

A chilly angst, racing thoughts, a pick of life and death!

I hoped to hear what I wanted to hear;

A hope so bleak and wry.

And even before he started to speak, I let out a famished cry!

I had already felt it through and froze in place as he spelt it out,

Yes it was the colossal haze, with that thudding clout.

Bizarrely perplexed to find out why,

Reason seemed cold and vain.

As I scraped up my pride the third time in a row, it returned; the piercing pain!

My heart had sunk and guts so wrenched, a throbbing head called out,

After I had wailed it through and smothered the sniffles, I sat up, oh so stout!

A vigour unknown and rigour renewed,

I now asked the forbidden why,

I looked at me, and we both were mum,

Eureka! There, my answer wasn’t at all glum.

Self-indictment looked me in the eye, I wanted to cringe with shame,

What was life and death a while ago, it all seemed so lame,

Was it a perspective or a maze of hope,

I hadn’t understood till each drop had drained,

For now I realized it wasn’t hope at all, just expectation well trained!

PS: More often than not we wish to believe that we are hopeful about things and one to give it that one last try. Sometime, just sometime, it is not really hope. We just expect that things will turn out our way and refuse to give up even if we have compromise. Now that sounds very similar to hope, right? What if expectation overpowers everything else, and you end up compromising way more than you will ever gain from the situation even if it turns out your way. Now is that still hope? Think about it....